Chapter 15

“Is there something I can help you with…ASR?  It is after business hours, though…”

“Actually there is, Ms. Gupta.  And, you’re the only one who can…”

“The only thing Ms. Gupta is doing right now is going to bed. By herself, just like she’s been doing for the past week.”

“Ouch. Can I please at least come in?”

“Let me ask you something. Do you have your key to the apartment?”

“Yes. ”

He raises his eyebrow, and then pulls the key out from his pocket, holding it up.

“Do you know how to use the key to open a door?”

“Of course I do, Khushi. What kind of question is that?”

“Oh I was just checking. Couldn’t you use the damn key instead of waking me up by ringing the irritating doorbell?”

Turning, I storm inside the apartment, as he closes the door behind us.  

“But, I wasn’t sure if you would let me in, so I deci…”

His words hang in the air, as I halt turning to face him. The anger from earlier coming back in full force, hearing what he has just spouted out.

“Really, and why would you think that? Do explain, I would love to know.”

My piercing gaze follows him as he places the flowers on the coffee table, then walks towards me. But, I am just not ready to be close to him, and take a few steps back. Which, no doubt, surprises him.

He takes a deep breath, keeping the invisible divider between us intact.

“Because, I was a controlling, obnoxious, jerk today. Actually the past week. I figured you wouldn’t appreciate me just walking in here. If I knew you were sleeping, I would have come back later. But I needed to see you tonight and apolog-”

Taking a deep breath, I attempt with everything I have to push aside the anger, and interrupt him.

“Let’s get one thing clear, YES. You were all of those things, and more. But, whatever happens between us at the office does not mean you can’t come into our apartment. You don’t need my permission to walk in here, no matter how angry I am at you. Is that clear, Arnav?”

This needs to be voiced so we can continue to build our relationship on a strong foundation if there is going to be a future between us.   

He nods, and I turn away to walk towards the sofa.

“I am so sorry, sweetheart…”  He whispers.

My feet stop in their tracks to spin around. As my gaze locks with his, my heart squeezes painfully seeing the sadness in those mesmerizing brown eyes. But I stay firm, on a mission to not give in so quickly. He needs to understand this simply cannot happen again. Not if we are going to be working together, while trying to maintain a personal relationship.

“And you think I should forgive you?”

“No, not yet at least. Hear me out first, then you can decide. First, I apologize for swearing at you, and losing my temper this afternoon. That was completely out of line, but I was beyond frustrated that you were in trouble, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do. Second, I am so, so sorry, for staying away this week. Total idiotic move on my part. But, I knew what would have happened if we were together… I didn’t want us to argue, and since you were adamant about doing this yourself, I stayed away. Do you have any idea how much I have missed you? How hard it has been to stay away?” He pauses, staring at me with a faint smile.

“Yes, I do know. The distance you created between us is what hurt the most.”

He closes his eyes, and when they open, I suck in my breath at the anguish visible in them from the truth of my words.

“Khushi, I am so sorry…” He walks over to me, only to still a feet away.

“I know it was wrong, and I should have trusted your ability to handle the problem. Which you most certainly did. Very well, I might add. If you ever get bored with your career, maybe you can become a detective.”

He shakes his head, and an amused smile curves at the corner of his mouth. And I can’t help but smile back.

“But, you see, I have become irrational in love. After this incident, I promise to back off, and let you deal with your issues as you see fit. You are more than capable of solving problems, which is a quality of yours that I have admired. It seems I had a bout of amnesia, which is the only thing that can justify my behavior. I was looking at this from the boyfriend angle. Let’s just say the lines were blurred.  But the next time, I will be there if you need me, if not, I will respect your decision. So, what do you think? Am I forgiven or should I continue further?  Just so you know I am not leaving until you forgive me. I am even willing to sleep on the couch…”

My mind goes through a myriad of emotions, from this past week, as he justifies his behavior. One thing is clear, his apology is heartfelt. And he also has been miserable this week. It’s apparent, looking at his face, and that sends a dull ache to my heart.

There is no way, I can continue to stay mad at him. It’s time to move forward from this minor set back, and work on what’s important. To the both us. Our relationship.

My hands tremble, as I close the gap between us. I throw myself in his arms as tears blur my eyes.

“Arnav… I…” I can’t say anything else, as the tears start flowing down my cheeks. His arms wrap tightly around me with no intentions of letting me go, as he comforts me. This week has been emotional on so many levels. No matter how hard I try to gather myself, I can’t stop crying. It’s useless.

How I have needed this shoulder to lean on.

“Shhh, Khushi. It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. Please stop, I can’t see you like this.”

I clutch onto him tighter crying on his shoulder, and shake my head as tries to pull away.

He lowers his hand down to my thighs, then lifts me up, as I wrap my legs around him. He carries me to the sofa, and sits down. I adjust my legs on the sofa, and straddle myself on his lap.

We sit in silence for a few moments, and I find myself relaxing slowly as his hands gently rub my back. As the tears and pain subside, a sudden desire runs through me feeling his warmth being close to him.

I bury my face inside his neck, and deeply inhale his intoxicating scent that I have missed. A soft moan escapes my mouth, as my senses awaken at finally having him by my side again.  

He sits back, as I flush my body closer to his.

“Baby… I missed you so much…”  I whisper into his ears, and place a lingering kiss on his neck.

“Oh Khushi…  I missed you too…”

I lift my face up, and his gaze mirrors mine, darkened with desire and passion.

His soft luscious lips are open, inviting me for a kiss, what I have been craving for this week. And I instantly lower my lips over his, and caress them slowly.

“I want you to kiss me, and take what’s yours…”  He whispers, leaning his head back on the cushion.

Our eyes lock, and I feel my heart beating faster as I stare into his shimmering molten caramel orbs. His eyes staring into mine urging me to take control, to take what’s mine.

I swiftly lower my lips to his, wrapping my hands through his hair pulling him closer for a desperate kiss. A kiss that dominates, reflecting my emotions, and letting them free. A kiss filling the void from the past week.

He groans pulling my face closer to his, giving back with equal measure as our desire reaches a fury peak, with our tongues colliding. But, it doesn’t take long before it turns into a tender, warm kiss. One that signifies, an apology and forgiveness.

We pull away, and I lean my forehead against his, as we catch our breath.

“Wow… I think you should take the lead more often when we kiss.” His husky, drugged voice brings me back and I lift my head to face him.

“Maybe I should take the lead, not only in kissing but other things as well…”  I wink at him, slyly curving the corner of my lip.

And he simply smiles, one that floods my body with warmth.

“Tum theek ho?” He asks, caressing my face, though the slight frown on his face tells me he already knows all is not well.

“My head is pounding, and I am so tired. What time is it?” With his help, I get up from the sofa, and press my hands on my head.

He takes out his phone from his pocket to check the time.

“Almost, ten o’clock. Your headache is from not eating anything today, and you fell asleep crying… What? Don’t give me that look. I saw your puffy, red eyes when you opened the door. And, your eating habits at work are horrible. Go freshen up and change your clothes, while I figure out dinner. After you eat, you can go back to sleep.”

“Yes, sir! Actually, there is dal chawal and subzi in the fridge that I made last night. Plus, I treated myself and went to Sukhadia’s yesterday after work. Kesar Jalebies! Yum… I have some left, which I can indulge in after I have dinner.”

“Great, I get to watch you lust over your favorite meetha, and then I get to have my meetha.”  He says with a lopsided smirk, raising his eyebrow.

I mimic his reaction, walking up to him. Caressing his lips with my fingers, I whisper.

“Win win situation for the both us, though it will be a double treat for me.”

*****

An hour later, I lie in bed with a pounding headache, as he hovers over me trying to magically make it go away.

He is in bed besides me with laptop in tow, searching for remedies, and then has me try a few of them. Not to forget, he goes on and on about me not taking care of myself. He begins to sound like a broken record, going back and forth between the two.

I have had enough.  I shake my head, and sigh.

“Oh my God… Arnav, you are making this headache worse with your nonstop lecturing. And, it’s only a headache, not a terminal illness, which will go away soon. Please just switch off the lights, and get in bed.”

“I wouldn’t have to lecture you if… forget it. Wait, I found something that might help. This is interesting, and according to studies… it works.”

I look up at him, raising my eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. But, he stares at me.   

“Well, what is it?”

“Khushi, I don’t think you will be able to handle it in this condition. Never mind, let’s just go to sleep.”

“My condition, what is that supposed to mean? You just said it will work to get rid of a headache?  Come on, just tell me. I would do anything to make this pain go away. Stupid Sheetal, this is all her fault!”

I hold on to my head tightly as the throbbing increases.

“You really want to know?  I am not sure, Khushi… but if you want to, I don’t mind.”

“Yes I am sure. If it really works, unlike the medicine I took.”

He stares down at me with a smirk plastered across his face, putting his laptop on the side table. He props himself on his elbow, and comes closer to me.

“Sex…” His husky voice whispers.

“What?!” I shake my head, shocked at what I hearing.

“Yes sweetheart… sex, can make that headache go away. That’s what it says.  So…” He moves closer to me, placing his hand on my head. I immediately turn away, feeling my cheeks flaming up.

Is this his way of asking me to have sex? Now?

Is he serious or is this a joke?

What do I say?

“Um… I… don’t believe you. Wait, don’t you use having a headache as an excuse not to have sex. Yup, so clearly what you are reading is incorrect.”

“That’s interesting, I didn’t know that. So I assume you’ve used that excuse not to have sex before…”

“What? Of course not! How can I if I have never had sex befo-”  I gasp, and cover my mouth saying more than it needs.

He looks down at me for a moment, taking in my revelation. Then he laughs softly, pulling the covers over him.

“Um… woh… I… think my headache is gone. It’s late, we should go to sleep. Good night.” I say quickly, turning away from him, then pull the cover tightly over my head, mortified to face him.

Me and my big mouth! I have been avoiding telling him for the past few weeks, afraid what he might think of me being inexperienced.

And, now I just blurt it out.

What is wrong with me?

What must he be thinking of me now?

What if I am not enough for him when the time comes?

The room goes dark, as he turns off the light. As I close my eyes, I feel his hand go inside my t-shirt caressing my waist, and then he pulls me closer to him. He moves my hair away from the side of my face, and his lips gently stroke my neck before he whispers.

“I already knew, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Knowing that I will be your first when we are ready makes me the luckiest man. Good night, sweetheart. Hope your headache is gone by the time you wake up.”

As I hear him say that, I am overcome with happiness. He has unknowingly helped push away a fear that has been on the back of my mind for a few weeks.  And I know when the time comes, he will be by my side, like he has been throughout the milestones in our relationship thus far.

I move closer to him, as his arms wrap around me, and finally fall asleep peacefully after an exhausting week.

*****

The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed with no Arnav next to me. I glance over at the clock, and immediately panic when seeing the time.

“Shit… it’s ten o’clock! How the heck did I sleep so long?”

Then I realize I forgot to set my alarm last night, because of my headache. As I get out of bed, Arnav walks into the bedroom.

“Oh good you are up.  I was just coming to wake you. How is your headache?”

He walks over to me, and places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“It’s much better. I am so sorry, not sure how I slept so long. We should be at the office already. Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

“Relax, Khushi. It’s Friday, and there isn’t much going on in the office. So we are both taking the day off today, and I have planned something for us this weekend.”

“What?! Are you crazy? How can we both be out of the office at the same time?  What are people going to think? And I am supposed to take Lavanya and Aman out to lunch today. Arnav, we can’t do this today.”

“Yes we can, and we are. You know I don’t take care what people think. But, just so you know, I told Lavanya you are not feeling well, and will not be in the office. And, I gave her the day off, since I told her I am working from home and didn’t need her for anything. She was thrilled, I am guessing she will go spend time with her boyfriend, NK. Now it’s time we spend some time together with no work on our minds. Is that okay, or shall we argue till I win?” He wraps his arms around my neck, leaning his forehead against mine. “Khushi, we haven’t had any time for each other the last couple of weeks, don’t you think we deserve a long weekend together. Just you and me?”

I take a deep breath knowing he is right. It’s time I stop running, and give my all to this relationship.

What better way than spending three days alone with him with no work or distractions in the way?  

“Yes, we do… I am in.”

He smiles and then leans down, kissing me deeply.

“Now, go get ready. We have to be out of here in an hour.”

I open my mouth to say something, but he closes it by placing a gentle kiss.

“I can do this all day long, after all we have lost out this week. What do you say?”

I push him away, and make my way to the bathroom with one thought.

This weekend is already starting off in the right direction.

After I get out of the shower, he is in my bedroom closing my travel bag.

“Baby, why are you packing my bag?”

He turns hearing my voice, and smiles.

“I will tell you once we are in the car, for now hurry and put on those clothes.”

He points to the bed where he has laid out my red maxi skirt with a white t-shirt. I stare at him, as he walks towards me and places a kiss on my cheek before walking out with my bag.

It looks like I better hurry, so I can find out what he has planned.

When I walk out after getting ready, he is on the phone while gathering our things and placing them by the door. He sees me, and points towards the kitchen, gesturing me to eat.

And, to my surprise he has Starbucks and my favorite chocolate croissant set on the counter. Taking a sip, I notice it’s still hot, which makes me wonder- when did he go get this?

“Sweetheart, are you ready?”  He says, walking into the kitchen as I am cleaning up.

Meeting an excited and mischievous expression on his face, raises my excitement level to start this weekend.

“I am ready.  Let’s go!”

Once we are in the car, and Mohan drives away, I anxiously look over at him, taking his hand in mine and urge him to tell me where we are going. He chuckles, and squeezes my hand.

“Should I tell you our plans?” I nod, and pout my lips, which works like a charm. “Damn, those lips.”

He leans in trying to kiss me, but I push him away aware that Mohan is in our presence. He raises a questioning eyebrow, and I point to the front. But that doesn’t faze him, as he pulls me towards him, and kisses me.

“Arnav, please…” I whisper.

“We will continue this later. By the way, we are going to the Hamptons for the weekend. I found a private beach house in South Hampton area, on the coast which will be perfect for our getaway. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to get out of the city.”

Astonished, my mouth opens up widely, as his curious gaze waits for a response.  

“Why would I mind? I am looking forward to it.”

I squeeze his hand, and look away, feeling overwhelmed with happiness. But there is still an apprehension at the bottom of my stomach. All of this is new to me, the fact that he has money and can plan anything at the drop of a hat. He has asked me to push my hesitations about his money on several occasions, but how can I?

Though, I am aware if I let this get in between us, our relationship will suffer.

There is no time to think further, as the car stops.

It looks like we are at the heliport at Chelsea Piers. I gasp in shock looking out the window, and turn to face him.

“What? I chartered a helicopter. It will get us there in forty minutes versus four hours or more depending on the traffic, if I drove. I hope you are not scared of heights, sweetheart.  And, if you are, you can hold onto me and sit as close as you want.” He laughs, getting out of the car, coming round to open the door for me.

My jaw drops staring at the massive flying machine, which reminds me of a bumble bee due to its sleek black and yellow color. I can see the four blades starting to spin around slowly as the pilot starts the engine. My heart pounds against my chest, hearing the loud roar as it spins faster.  The sound, along with the size of the machine intimidates me, and I stay still, clutching onto his arm tightly.

I look up at him as he takes my hand, not being able to move along with him.  He leans down towards my ears.

“Sweetheart, there is nothing to be afraid about. I promise nothing is going to happen. Do you trust me?”

His comforting voice gives me the strength I need to go through with this, and I nod.  

As we walk closer, I notice it’s not an ordinary helicopter. The amenities inside, which include plush leather seats, noise cancelling headphones and the spacious headroom gives you a luxurious and comforting feel.

Arnav helps me inside first, putting on my belt and hands me the headphones.  Once he makes sure I am secure, he makes his way inside taking the seat next to me.

I watch as he puts on his belt and headphones with such ease. It’s as if he has done this numerous times. Not to mention, he looks incredibly sexy, dressed in jeans, black polo shirt with his aviators. Once we are settled in our seats, I hear Arnav’s voice coming through the headphones as he instructs the pilot to take off.

He raises my hand to his lips, and places a kiss.

“I love you, Khushi”  He mouths, and pulls me to his side.

No matter how many times, I have heard him say those three words to me, it still manages to leave me breathless.

Doesn’t he deserve that in return?

As the helicopter takes off, I gasp, holding onto him tight. And of course he chuckles at my condition.

I can’t hold back the wide smile that comes through on my face, as I take in the city. This has to the best way, to see the magnificent view from above. The ride that I feared, turns out to be exhilarating being high above in the sky looking down below.  It feels like the city is right under my feet.

It leaves me in awe, and to know I would have never done this if it weren’t for the man sitting next to me makes this a special moment in my life.

For once, I don’t care someone else is around us. All I know is I want to kiss him, to remember this forever. I put my hand on his face, and bring it closer to mine for a hot passionate kiss.

“Did Ms. Gupta just kiss me in public? I think I will make this a weekly trip, if that means you will give me meetha openly.”

I look away in embarrassment, and shake my head.

This man has a way of making me do things that I have never done before.

Arnav has the pilot go by his buildings, and I get excited seeing the terrace of his penthouse. Followed by the view of Central Park from above, which truly is a natural wonder in between these tall skyscrapers. The remainder of the journey, he points out the different landmarks around the city before we head out towards the Hamptons.

The Hamptons is part of Long Island’s South Fork. It consists of a string of seaside communities and small villages, where people escape to in the summer.  There are beautiful vineyards, fine dining restaurants, and art galleries, which give you options to discover the area during your visit.   

Certain sections give you the small town feel, while others have extravagant homes spread out along the coast. This is where the rich and famous come to get away from the city. While it doesn’t fit my profile, it most certainly fits Arnav’s.

When we land, a driver takes us to the house which is about fifteen minutes away. I take in the sight of various lavish traditional beach homes.

As we pull into the long private driveway, I blink a few times looking at the amazing modern structure in front of me.  This was not what I expected, especially after driving past the many homes on our way here. This is not your traditional beach house, it’s a rare piece of sculpture in between the bay and the ocean.

“It’s stunning isn’t it?”

“I love it, Arnav. It’s so different and unique. I would have never figured such a home could exist on the island. This is simply exquisite.”

“Shall we check out the inside?”

The driver gets our things, and I notice someone waiting to greet us at the front door.

“Welcome, Mr. Raizada and Ma’am. My name is Robert. Hope you didn’t have any troubles getting here. Please come in.”

“Is everything set as I requested?”

While Arnav talks through the specifics, I walk around the ground floor which is all open. In the center there is a fireplace, along with stairs that lead up on one side and down the other.  

The mixture of different materials, stone, glass, metal, and wood is interesting.  The cold stone with the warm wood floors, makes it a great contrast. This house embodies both gravity and grace with the multiple floors. I would never have pictured myself falling in love with a modern place like this.

“Finally it’s just you and me.”

I smile, as he comes up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, and rests his chin on my shoulders.

“What shall we do now Mr. Raizada in this big house with only the two of us?”

“I know what I would like to do, but I am not sure if you are ready. Shall we check out the house?”

He turns me around to face him, and there is mischief in his gaze which makes me turn away blushing knowing where his thoughts were seconds before.

“Yes, it’s best we look around, and unpack. Wait… what did you pack for me? I didn’t even think of this when we left, since I had no clue where we were going. Arnav, why are you smiling like that?”

“I say we go unpack first. If this is your reaction now, I can’t wait to see what it will be when you see what I have packed for you.”

His husky laugh trails off, as he heads towards the staircase. I quickly follow him, as he runs up the stairs.

“Seriously, there is a pool outside?” I yell out at the view, as we get upstairs.

I am pulled towards the view outside the glass wall. My feet take me out to the pool through the sliding doors, which leads to the vista of the ocean and sandy beach. I hear the waves crashing against the shore, which sounds like music.  There is a calmness that takes over me, and I sit down to soak it all in. I haven’t felt at peace with myself as I do now in such a long time.

What is it about being here that feels so tranquil?

After a few moments, I walk back inside wondering where he is.

“Baby, where are you?”

“Right here…”

He comes out of the room on the far end of the house, and I make my way into what seems like the Master Bedroom.

“Why didn’t you come outside? I was waiting for you…”

“It looked like you could use the time to yourself, so I figured I would give you some space. Maybe we can have our lunch set-up outside. But, let’s finish unpacking first, I did most of it already.”

I go inside the walk in closet to find clothes hanging, but they aren’t mine. My bag also seems to be missing. I turn around to find him standing at the doorway.

“Is there a problem, Khushi?”

“Where are my things?”

“In front of you…”

“But these aren’t my clothes…”

He smiles at me, crossing his arms across his chest, and it hits me, they are mine.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to. Khushi, please don’t make a big deal about this.”

I take a deep breath, and walk towards the wall where the designer clothes are hung. I have to admit, they are definitely my style. There are a few casual cotton blouses along with t-shirts, and a couple of dresses. I look towards the shelf, and notice the shoes.

“Are you serious? You also bought me shoes! Are these Christian Louboutin? How… when…  these are so expensive.”

“Are those are the right ones? I saw you bookmark them on your iPad a couple of weeks back, so I couldn’t resist. You look sexy in heels, I can just imagine how they will look on your feet. I did this last weekend… the trip and shopping. I guess planning this trip was a way to keep me close to you in your absence. It makes me happy to be able do this for you… and, this is nothing compared to what you have done for me in the last few months both professionally and personally. Please don’t say no, and accept this gift.”

I nod in spite of my earlier hesitancy, unable to speak for what he has done for me. His kindness and love shining through for me, not only with the gifts, but the small gestures and things he does for me on a daily basis.

He smiles at me, and takes me in his arms.

“Now, let’s wipe those tears away, and open that drawer.  This gift is more for me, then you.”

I stare up at him, as he wipes away the tears from my face, holding back the emotions I feel in my heart. He deserves me not to hold back, doesn’t he? I am broken out of my thoughts when he touches my shoulder.

“Khushi, open the drawer… you know what forget it, I am opening it.” I put my hand over my mouth and shake my head, looking at what’s inside. “Since you complained about me ripping your favorite bra, I figured I would replace it.”

He picks up a lacy black bra with a matching thong which makes me gasp and I feel my cheeks warm up. I snatch it away, and put them back, closing the drawer.

“Besharam! I can’t believe you bought that.” Pointing to the drawer, I shake my head in disbelief.

Not wanting to risk him opening it again, I walk out of the closet, with him laughing at my plight. But then he grabs my hand, and slowly pushes me against the wall.

“Sweetheart, I realize there is still some time for me to see the bottom piece, but at least I can get a preview of the top.  What do you say?”

My heart stills, hearing his husky voice whisper into my ears as his hand caresses my face making its way down to my waist. Pressing against the wall I shiver, feeling his hand make its way inside my shirt caressing my bare skin as it moves up to cup my breast.

“Khushi, you didn’t answer me, can I get a preview?”

He trails sensual wet kisses down my neck, molding my breast in his hand. I wrap my arms around his neck, moaning his name out loud. The burning desire fueling inside of me feeling his thumb graze my tightening peak. He lowers his lips on mine, kissing me with a passion that sears through down to my core. I hold onto him tightly for support, feeling my knees weaken lost in our desires.

As he pulls away, we both stare at each other, struggling to control our breathing and erratic heart beats.    

“Sweetheart… I think… we need to go out… otherwise I won’t be able to stop…”

“I couldn’t agree more.  And, to answer your question, you definitely will be getting a preview… of the top piece that is. After all, you should be able see how your gift looks on me.”

“Now, you’re talking… let’s go before I have you give me a preview right now.”

We both laugh, and it feels so good to have my flirtatious Arnav back.

*****

After enjoying our lunch outside by the pool, we make plans to go see the Montauk Point Light House. I had noticed it from helicopter, and have always wanted to visit one.

It’s located at the end of the island, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean.  The quintessential historic lighthouse is in magnificent condition given that it’s been around since 1796.  I am awed looking up at the structure, even the views around it are magnificent. Arnav isn’t too keen on going inside, but once again I leash out my weapon… pouting. And that’s all it takes to have him climb up the light house.

Once we reach at the top, looking out at the ocean I feel at peace with the man standing next to me holding onto my hand. My eyes fall on our entwined hands, then up at him. It’s then that it dawns on me, how perfect this moment is. This is how it was meant to be.

He smiles at me, and places a gentle kiss on my lips. We stand in silence for a long moment looking out at the horizon where the sky melds with the ocean.

As we make our way down the spiral staircase, he seems to be in a playful mood. He uses every opportunity, to touch my waist, whisper into my ears, placing soft kisses, which admittedly I love.

Being outside the house doesn’t help in keeping our hands off one another throughout the day.

We enjoy a quiet outdoor dinner at Delmonico’s where they serve food made from local fresh ingredients. The food is delicious, from the starter to the main course. Of course, as usual, I can’t finish my food, so he clears it off for me.

Throughout dinner, I can’t keep my gaze off of him.  Both of us freely conversing and laughing, as if we have been together for years.    

There is something different about him, since he came to the apartment yesterday, or is it the way I am looking at him?

The car ride back to the house is quiet, he is focused on driving since we are in an unfamiliar area. I was surprised when he told me that he had rented a car, which was parked in the garage, to come and go as we please. But then I shouldn’t have been. The man needs to be in control at all times.

The amount of planning he has done for this trip, has rendered me speechless.  Every little detail is taken care of. And, to know he has done most of it himself, makes it even more special.

The past few months, I have learned to live my life because of this man. He has no apprehensions about our relationship, even with not knowing the details about my relationship with Sameer. We have tried to discuss it several times, but something always gets in the way. Most times I was unable to speak about it, not wanting to bring us down during the very little time we have with each other.

I don’t want to think about my past, it’s the past, and it’s no more. And, Arnav has helped me with that.

“Success, Ms. Gupta! We’re back, and didn’t get lost.”

I am broken out of my thoughts, just as he pulls into the driveway.

“Arnav, can we go take a walk on the beach?”

“Sure, but aren’t you tired?”

I shake my head, and he smiles.

A few moments later after freshening up, changing into comfortable shorts and t-shirts, we make our way onto the beach.

I close my eyes and sigh as my bare feet touch the soft sand. Taking in the cool breeze from the waves hitting the shore, makes me want to put my feet in the water.

“Do you know how beautiful you look… when you are at peace with yourself?  This is the first time I am seeing you this way…” His eyes are locked on mine, as he takes my hand and places a kiss.

“There is something about being here, that is peaceful. I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I stepped out by the pool earlier.”

“Maybe we need to come here more often, if this is the Khushi… I get to see.”

“Thank you for this, Arnav.” I stand on my tiptoes, and place a kiss on his cheek. Wrapping my arm in his, we start walking.

“Doesn’t the sky look so beautiful at night with the stars shining?  Even the way the moon is reflecting on the water…”

“Nah, I still think you are more beautiful…  What, you are! ”

I shake my head, not at all in alignment with his statement, walking hand in hand. We fall into an easy conversation about the places we would like to visit. He tells me stories about how Anjali had dragged him on a family vacation to Goa. But, he ended up working the whole time which meant he was only invited to go again if he was not going to work. So, he never went afterwards being consumed with work for the last six years.

That’s when it hit me, this is his first vacation, since we both made a pact not to work. Even though it’s only for the weekend, it’s still a vacation.

We make our way back towards the beach house in companionable silence.

Would I be considered selfish to want this for forever with him?

No, I wouldn’t be.

I deserve his love that he showers upon me, and he deserves mine in return.

Hasn’t the distance of the past week taught me that I need this man in my life?

What he means to me?

My heart aches for his presence when he is not around, or seeing him in pain.

Everything about him, what he makes me feel, is all that I have ever wanted, and more in a relationship. To be loved the way I am with my strengths and weaknesses.

Doesn’t this all mean one thing?

It’s time for me to accept it and voice it out loud.

I have to stop running away, and walk hand in hand with him. Not behind him.

For me. For him. For us.

Us.

“Sweetheart, you’re very quiet… what are you thinking about?”

“That… I love you.”

He stills, turning me to face him and lifts my chin up, as his deep gaze bores into mine. I smile up at him as tears fill my eyes at finally being able to voice it out loud without being apprehensive or looking back.

My heart beats erratically, overwhelmed with being able to tell this man, that I love him.

“Say it again, please…” He whispers.

“I LOVE YOU, ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA!”

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