Chapter 4

As I take my iPhone out of the charger in my bedroom, I notice I have only thirty more minutes before Arnav arrives to pick me up. I quickly gather my things, and get ready to change my clothes when I hear a knock at the door.

“Coming…” I yell out, hurriedly making my way out of the bedroom towards the main door.

But as I look to see who it is through the peephole, I am left surprised. I open the door, and without a further thought, I throw questions at him.

“What are you doing up here? You should have texted me, I would have come down, you didn’t have to come upstairs.”

I just can’t believe my eyes. Arnav Singh Raizada is standing at my door.

“Hi” He says, leaning against the doorframe with his hands across his chest.  Arnav is dressed casually in a navy blue Burberry polo shirt and ripped jeans with brown casual shoes. The casual clothes are a pleasant surprise since all the pictures I have seen of him online were in formal business attire. It actually makes him look like a normal guy and much younger, versus the shrewd business man that he is.

“If you are done checking me out, won’t you invite me in, Khushi?” He says with a wicked smile on his face.

Damn he noticed! Am I that transparent that he notices everything about me?

“I was not checking you out! I am just surprised you are here, that’s it. And please do come in, Mr. Raizada.” I bow and move out of the way for added measure.

“Thank you, Ms. Gupta.”  He says casually walking inside. I can see him curiously looking around at the layout. “Not bad, I like it, bright and open.”

“Yes it is, that’s what made me choose this place. Sorry, if I knew you were coming earlier I would have been ready to go.  Please make yourself comfortable while I quickly get ready and grab my things from the bedroom.”

“Relax, I was ready, so I decide to come a few minutes early. And your doorman let me leave the car in front of the building. Take your time, there is no rush.”  He says, making his way towards the balcony.

“Okay, I will be right back.”

I rush into my room, closing the door behind me. Then change into my pink kurti with leggings and wrap, my white scarf around my neck. Once I am ready, I gather my things that I had scattered between the two rooms and place them by the front door in the hall.

When I am done, I notice Arnav standing with the fridge door open.  For a moment I think how natural he looks in my apartment as if he belongs here and can’t help but smile.

What is happening to me?

“Would you like something to drink or eat?” I ask, walking up to him.

“I was just getting some water, hope you don’t mind.”  He says, grabbing a bottle from the fridge. He turns his attention to me, taking in my appearance.

“Please help yourself.  Sorry, I guess I forgot my manners. I should have offered you something earlier.”

“That’s not a problem, I am not shy. If I want something, I can help myself.” He slowly approaches me, coming up very close. Practically within touching distance.

My instinct is telling me to take a few steps back. But my body has decided to stay rooted in place, soaking in the closeness. I inhale deeply, taking in the crisp, musky scent, that is all him, intoxicating my senses.

“Khushi, the question is, will you let me?” He whispers as his fingers gently caress my face. His thumb brushes my lower lip. As he stares into my eyes with a burning gaze, I look up at his exquisite mouth. A sudden need to take his lips against mine, overpowers me.  I notice him looking down at me, waiting for me to take the next step.

My heart is screaming to kiss him, while my mind is saying no. This is moving too fast, and I need to slow it down. It is then that I make up my mind and take a step back.

“Sorry Arnav, but this…”  He interrupts me.

“No Khushi, I was out of line there.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, before proceeding. “We need to talk.”

All I can do is nod, since words have left me looking at the guilt brimming in his eyes. He leads me to the living room and we both sit down on the sofa.  Neither one of us says anything for a few minutes, trying to gather our thoughts.

“I know… I probably should not have touched you. But the truth is I wanted to, I am not going to lie about that. And if I’m not mistaken, you weren’t exactly averse here…” As I hear him say that, I look up at him stunned. It’s as if he can see right through me with his intense gaze fixed on me. “Khushi, there is an attraction between us which you cannot deny, and instead of fighting it… why can’t we see where it leads to?”

As much as I agree that there is a pull between us, I also know that I can’t allow myself to go through with this. I don’t want to end up where I was a year ago.

“Arnav, I don’t think I can do this. We both are going to be working together, what if things don’t work out?  Do you know how awkward that will be?”

Reasoning with him about our professional circumstance seems like the best way to handle this. But I can see his expression has changed, and he stiffens.  

“Is that the real reason or is there something else?” I look away as he says that, not wanting to answer. “You’re not a good liar, you know? How about this, answer my questions truthfully with only a yes or no then we can decide, deal?”  He smiles at me and takes my hands in his, before beginning his questioning.

Even though I know going through this will somehow change how we move forward, I find myself nodding.  

“Good girl.” He says squeezing my hand. “Have you ever let your personal life come between your work?”

“No, of course not.”

“Remember yes or no only. Do you know how to separate the two, personal and professional?”

“Yes.”

“Are you committed to your work despite your personal relationships with family or friends?”

“Yes.”

“Khushi, we are both mature adults where we can decipher the line between work and our personal life, it does not mean we would work any less harder.  You just need to find the right balance between the two and if we both work at it we can have that balance.  Do you see the point I am trying to make?”

“Yes, I do, but what if it doesn’t work? What if you realize you are not interested in me or find someone else? Then what? I can’t do this again…”  I stand up letting go of his hand and turn away to hide the tears that are threatening to fall. I can’t have him see the anguish on my face.

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

Just the thought about having feelings for Sameer brings out the anger that I have been holding in. I clench my hands in a fist, turning around to face him.

“I despise him!  He is a worthless asshole that deserves nothing. So, to answer your question, Mr. Raizada, NO… I don’t have any feelings for him!”  My voice rises with every word, letting out the rage that takes over.

Feeling myself trembling, I force myself to sit down on the sofa, covering my face as the tears unleash. This is the outcome from holding back for so long, by running away from a past that should hold no significance anymore. A past that I have moved on from. Or have I?

After a few minutes of silence, he kneels down in front of me, prying my hands away from my face. I am forced to face him, and find his eyes are filled with compassion for another being. A realization dawns on me that there is something different about him. Letting out a deep breath, I wipe the tears away, and take the water bottle from his hand.

“I am sorry, Khushi. My intention wasn’t to hurt you, nor to make you cry with that question.” His heartfelt apology, makes me want to confide in him.

Why do I feel like opening up to him?  Shouldn’t I be running?

“There is no need to be sorry. Do you know that one of the reasons I moved here was to start a new life for myself? I want to put it all behind me, that’s all… why is this so hard?”

“It doesn’t have to be hard. You are making this harder on yourself than it needs to be. If you are serious about starting a new life, then move on.  Forget him, he is not worth it. Give yourself another chance to live your life. You deserve to be happy and I would like to be a part of making you happy again, if you allow me to.”  He stares at me, wiping the tear from the corner of my eye.

This isn’t fair, as much as I want to push him away, there is a greater force telling me to explore this with him. But before any of that, he needs to know my reasons for holding back.

“Arnav, don’t you want to know about my past before you decide if you want to get involved with me?”

“Does it really matter? It’s your past, everyone has one. I have one, though mine has been in the public eye. We should be focusing on the present and future.”

“Why do you want me when you can have someone with less baggage, who isn’t an emotional mess? There are so many more beautiful women that you can easily have.”

He chuckles while shaking his head, grasping my hands tightly in his.

“Sweetheart, that’s because you are different. I have yet to meet someone who is strong enough to pack her bags and move to a city where she doesn’t know anyone. You’re also one of the smartest women I have met in this business. From what I know of your previous work and from what you put together in two days, has been very impressive. Pure genius. And despite what my sister says about me not listening to her, I have heard her mention you on numerous occasions on what a caring person you are. You were there for her when she needed someone to lean on. Oh and let me not forget, you are beautiful, simply exquisite. Should I go on because there’s probably more…”  He smiles.  

He stands up, extending his hand to help me up. I am taken aback with the unmistakeable glint in his eyes, as he wraps his arms around my neck. My body slightly trembles in reaction to the closeness.

“So, what do you say Ms. Khushi Kumari Gupta, shall we give us a chance?”

While my body and heart are reacting to the close proximity and I want to say yes… Yes, I want to see where this can go. In a matter of a few days this man has become a part of the fabric of my life when someone that I was with for a few years was not. But then there is my mind, which is telling me that it might be too soon to take this chance. Especially if I will be working for him. It’s complicated.

Taking his hand off my neck, into mine, I take a deep breath. And seeing his smile fade, he knows what I am about to say.

“Arnav, don’t you think this is moving too fast?  I think we need to take this slow, and think this through.”

“I am following my instinct, Khushi, which has never been wrong. Since the day you walked into my office, I have felt something between us. There is this undeniable chemistry. It might seem like this is moving fast, but this just feels right….you and me.” He pauses for a long moment, then sighs and continues. “With that said, I completely understand why you might feel the need to take things slow. So I shall wait, and in the meantime, I am going to do whatever it takes to change your mind.”  He shrugs, and smiles, one that tells me he means every word.

Before I can say anything further, his phone starts ringing.

“Damn phone, should have put it on silent.” He groans, letting go of my hand, before reaching into his pocket for it.  “Of course it’s Di, leave it up to her to interrupt.”

“Yeah Di.” He answers brusquely. “Do you really think I would forget to pick her up after the ten text messages you sent me? I’m at Khushi’s place right now.” He pauses, listening to Anjali. Based on her muffled voice, I can sense she is not pleased at his tardiness. Or rather ours.

“I was busy this morning, that’s why I am late. And if you let me get off the phone, then we can head out. See you soon.”  He puts his phone back in his pocket, and winks at me. “Now, how could I forget to pick you up?”

“You seriously are too much!  Do you always flirt so openly with everyone?”

“Flirting? Is that what I’m doing? If it is, then I think this might be a first, Ms. Gupta. I have never quite met anyone like you before….” And there is that wicked smirk again, that makes my heart race.

“Shall we go before Anjali sends out a search party for us?” I can’t help but giggle, knowing that such a course of action might be just the kind of thing she would do.

I turn towards the front door, but Arnav’s startled exclamation stops me in my tracks.

“What the… Khushi, you do realize we are only going for one night? Why does it look like you have everything but the kitchen sink in here?”  He is almost shouting, looking at the bags I have compiled.

“Yes, I know it’s one night. I only have one overnight bag,  and the other five are gifts. I can’t possibly go empty handed, especially after learning my friend is pregnant.”

“So you decided to buy the entire damn store? Unbelievable.” He shakes his head, and still grumbles under his breath, grabbing the bags, before we make our way out of the apartment.

Once we get out of the elevator, the door man comes up to Arnav and takes the bags from him. My eyes immediately go to the striking white Aston Martin parked in the front. It’s when I see Arnav and the doorman loading my bags into the car that I realize it’s his. He hands the doorman a fifty dollar bill, thanking him for allowing him to leave the car in front.

What is he thinking giving him fifty dollars?

“Khushi, do you want to close your mouth or shall I do it for you?” He whispers into my ears, which immediately makes me clamp my mouth, blushing a fiery shade of red at his insinuation.

And then something else hits me.

“Wait, is this Aston Martin DB9 yours?!”

“Wow, you never cease to amaze me, Ms. Gupta. I have never met a girl who would know what make and model at first glance.”

“Well, that’s because I am not like other girls!” I wink at him and make my way towards the car.

“Touché.”  He grins, opening the passenger door for me. Once I am inside, he closes it and makes his way to the driver’s seat.

“This car is gorgeous inside and out, amazing!” I glance around, admiring the beauty which I am seated inside of.

“I am glad you like it, now fasten your seatbelt and get ready for the ride of your life.”  He waits for me to do just that, before accelerating out of the parking spot.

All I can think about is how my life has started moving at a rapid pace in the last few days.

For once, I welcome it….

“So, how long will it take to get to Anjali’s house?” I ask when we reach the traffic signal to turn onto Henry Hudson Parkway.

“Di lives in Upper Saddle River, which give or take is an hour from the city depending on the traffic. Let’s hope there is traffic.” A slight smirk curves his lip, turning onto the parkway.

“How about let’s hope not? We are already an hour late. And now that she knows we are on our way, she will be waiting for us.”

I ramble on since my ability to speak properly has gone out the window, being in a close confined space with this man. It has apparently scrambled my brain.

“I am intrigued to know how you knew what car this was.”

“Then you’ll be surprised to know that I know a lot about cars, thanks to my Babuji! He is an automotive engineer for a German car manufacturer, so you can say cars are his passion. Growing up, I used to watch him work on his designs and be amazed that what he would put on paper would actually be built. Being a daddy’s girl, it’s a hobby we both share.” I smile, and know that pride about my father’s work is evident in my voice.

“That’s great you are able to share that with your father. Looks like you both have a good relationship.”

“I am actually close to both of my parents. It’s not easy being away from them but thanks to technology they are close. Sometimes too close.”

“I know the feeling. I love my sister, but sometimes she can be overbearing with her nonstop phone calls with something or another.”

“I am still coming to terms with the fact that Anjali is your sister. I can’t believe you are Chote. Whenever she used to talk about you, I always pictured a little boy.” I let out a chuckle with the mental image I had of him back in school.

“As you can see, I am not a boy and just so you know, there is nothing little about me.”  He says smoothly, zooming in and out through the cars that are not moving fast enough for his liking.

My cheeks are flaming, and I look away quickly facing the window. The infrastructure of Upper Manhattan that comprises of apartment buildings facing the Hudson River, luckily captures my attention.

After a few minutes, Arnav points out the Bridge we will be crossing over to make our way into New Jersey.

This pushes away the thoughts that were burning in my head about the man seated next to me. I remind myself that I need to take this slow, advice which seems to go out the window whenever I am in close proximity with him.

The rest of the ride goes smoothly as we fall into an easy conversation about our likes and dislikes. It seems we have similar tastes in food. Where we are very different is when it comes to movies and television. With Arnav’s schedule, he rarely has the time, while I love to watch movies.

We get to Upper Saddle River, and Arnav points out the local places and restaurants that Anjali has mentioned to him. The quaint town is relatively small with affluent entrepreneurs and professionals.

When we pull up to the house, I am astonished looking at the mansion in front of me. The brick structure with precast stone is absolutely stunning. It is the epitome of elegance and has a blissful vibe to it which fits Anjali and Shyam’s personality. Glancing around the neighborhood, it also seems like a wonderful place to raise a family.

“That wasn’t bad. We made it here in forty minutes. It’s time to go inside and see the family.” He makes his way out of the car and swifty comes around to open my door, before I can.  He offers me his hand, helping me out of the car and pulls me against him, leaving me breathless.

“I hope you change your mind soon about us, not sure how much longer I will be able to hold back. Especially when we start working together…”  He whispers into my ears, and this nearly sets my body on fire.

When I look up at him, there is a blatant desire in his eyes which reflects the one in my heart. I know I should step away, but I am unable to. His hand moves towards my face, and he lightly brushes my lips with his fingers.

His unspoken intent is clear in his eyes as he lowers his lips towards mine. My breathing stops, while my heart rate goes erratic.

Grasping the last remnant of my common sense, I pull away just as his lips hover over mine. Even before my heart has slowed down to normal, I see his mouth quirk in that familiar smile.

¨It’s probably better that you stopped that from happening. It wouldn’t do for my sister to come out here and find us in a passionate embrace.¨

My chin goes up at his assumption. ¨You are taking this for granted. Who said that it would be passionate?¨

He grins. ¨Don’t fool yourself, Khushi. It would be passionate…and more. Because just now, there was enough fire between us to burn down this side of town. And you know what?¨

He leans forward again, and brushes his thumb against the side of my mouth.

¨This was just a teaser, Khushi.¨

And with an audacious wink, he turns around and walks towards the front door, leaving me paralyzed.

A teaser?

How the hell am I supposed to resist the entire chapter, then?!

**********

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFj3FcUJO9M

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